"A dinner invitation, once accepted, is a sacred obligation. If you die before the dinner takes place, your executor must attend..."
-Ward McAllister, 19th century arbiter of New York society, as quoted in The Spice Necklace
I am just tickled by this quote. I agree wholeheartedly with its sentiment. In all my many years of giving dinner parties, I have only had two friends who did not attend a dinner party after they accepted. The first, still a good friend, forgot about the dinner. Afterwards, he apologized profusely and had us over for dinner as soon as possible. We invited him back many times after that. The second acted somewhat surprised that he had been missed (maybe he thought it was a, "Hey we're having some beers and pizza, drop by if you want" kind of invitation?) and has never been invited again.
9 comments:
I agree, and I think most people will feel the same way as you. But what prompted the thought?
Alexis, if you're asking whether someone cancelled on me recently, the answer is no. It was the chance reading of the quote on another blog that reminded me of these two (very different) dinner guests.
Thanks for posting this. I will make sure I never miss with out letting you know. Would be sad if my daughter never invited me again :)
I can't remember off hand anyone just not showing up for a dinner invitation. Certainly their have things like medical or family emergency issues but those are acceptable to me.
It can be expensive when people don't turn up and it's so easy to communicate - even if you feel uncomfortable turning down the invite.
Huge cultural difference: In Mexico, we don't really throw dinner parties. You invite everyone you know, prepare enough food to feed an army, and hope you don't run out of food. Even for more intimate situations, where only a handful of people are formally invited, not showing up is normal. This is one of the biggest things I had to get used to when moving to the USA: when you accept an invitation, you are not allowed to cancel!
Hmm, that's really interesting, Dr. BG. The no-show guest was, in fact, not from the U.S., and I did not consider that he might have been playing by a different set of cultural rules. Thanks for pointing that out.
Post a Comment