I'm attending a virtual physics education conference, and a series of talks on graduate education got me thinking. There's a lot of research and attention on improving graduate education in physics right now. That's because there's a lot wrong with it: somewhere around half of the students who enter leave without their PhD, it can destroy your mental health, and it is rarely a diverse or inclusive place.
Looking back at my graduate student experience now, I realize that I was one of the students who should have failed out. Not because I deserved it, let me add. I got good grades in my undergraduate degree and had several terrific research experiences. But when I got to graduate school, I struggled mightily, and failing several classes and repeated failing my qualifying exam. The reasons are myriad. My undergraduate school was very small, and hadn't offered lots of the classes my graduate school friends had taken. I probably hadn't learned the right way to learn, focusing more on getting the right answer than understanding the reasoning and the concepts leading to it. And I'm sure there was some imposter syndrome.
But in the end I made it, in large part because of a supportive research group and department. A friend tutored me through one of my classes in exchange for weekly ice cream cones. My advisor met with me to discuss problem solving and how to think about physics. (Looking back, I'm amazed he took this much time for a first-year graduate student when he had grants to write and far more successful students to supervise.) Twice, when I had to take the multi-day qualifying exam, my mother drove eight hours from Ohio to cook and clean so I could focus on studying all day long. When I showed up for office hours every single week, the TAs helped and didn't roll their eyes. Most (but not all) faculty members implied that they knew I could succeed. The remainder was due to me - I decided the only way I was leaving school was if they threw me out; I would not quit.
And it worked. I learned physics, which is the coolest science in the universe; I got to do fun research with interesting people, and now I get to work in a job that helps more people study physics. What a great way for the story to end.
4 comments:
Certainly one person who was there to support you was Prof Redish.
And you get to use those experiences to help change things so more might have the same success.
You should be proud of your accomplishments.
I would say the one person you don't give credit enough to is yourself and your determination. The fact that you went to every after hours session, you went to see your professors, you sought tutoring from friends. Many people would not have persevered. I think it is amazing and I'm absolutely shocked at how bad the passing percentage is for graduates. It is great work you are doing. I still do not understand physics but I still think it is super interesting too.
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